Merriam Webster defines a boundary as something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent. Setting boundaries for yourself or others doesn’t have to mean that you are walling yourself off from others. Instead, it helps us create healthy and open relationships.
The boundaries you need and how you set those boundaries may be affected by your Enneagram Type. Let’s discuss why boundaries are so important, 5 boundaries you may want to set based on your Enneagram Type and a few tips for setting boundaries.
Why Are Boundaries So Important:
They Can Help Protect Your Mental Health
When you set boundaries for yourself, you can help to promote your mental health by increasing your self-esteem and confidence, while reducing anxiety and stress. You can set boundaries for yourself, such as the content you want to consume, how much time you will spend at work, and how you are going to spend your money. Adhering to these boundaries will help to make your own personal choices that best protect you. Additionally, according to vulnerability expert Brené Brown, Ph.D., people who set boundaries have some of the highest levels of compassionate. Take a look at this video from Brown explaining more about boundaries.
They Can Improve Your Relationships
When you set boundaries for about how you want to be treated in your relationships, you will feel more secure and confident in those relationships. It will set the standards for how you want to be treated and how others should behave about you. They will allow relationship to be be mutually respectful and appropriate.
Greater Feelings of Peace and Safety
Setting boundaries can give us a feeling of peace in two ways. First, boundaries can protect us from toxic or abusive behavior. They give us a level of safety from content and behavior that we don’t want in our life. Second, if you set boundaries for yourself, you can set yourself free from self doubt and criticism. You won’t have to later second guess if you allowed others to mistreat you or you were not appropriate with others.
How Does the Enneagram Affect What Boundaries You Should Set:
Each person is motivated by different desires and fears, based on their Enneagram Type. So, it’s not surprise that different Types would struggle with different boundary issues. Take a look at each of these graphics to see 5 Boundaries that Each Enneagram Type should set.
Enneagram Type 1: The Idealist
Enneagram Type 2: The Giver
Enneagram Type 3: The Performer
Enneagram Type 4: The Romantic
Enneagram Type 5: The Observer
Enneagram Type 6: The Supporter
Enneagram Type 7: The Adventurer
Enneagram Type 8: The Protector
Enneagram Type 9: The Mediator
Tips for How to Set Boundaries:
1. Know Your Limits
Before you can set your boundaries, make sure you have identified them for yourself. You have to know what behaviors you will accept from yourself and from others before you can define your boundaries.
2. Be Assertive and Okay Saying No
For many of us, especially people pleasers, saying No isn’t easy to do. But, once you set boundaries, practice saying No to those things that cross you boundaries. Don’t feel like you need to further explain yourself; saying “No” is all you have to say to unreasonable requests. Practice being assertive and framing your statements from your point of you instead of pointing the finger at others.
3. Remember That Your Boundaries Can be Flexible
Even though you draw boundaries, life brings about many changes in circumstances and relationships. Those changes may also trigger a desired change in your boundaries. That doesn’t mean you are breaking your boundaries, it just means you need to rethink and redraw our boundaries.
Boundaries are important guides to have in your life. Think about what boundaries would be important to set in your life. If you struggle to set them, remember how beneficial they can be for you and your relationships.