Whenever I post something on Enneagram about the Enneagram and childhood, I get several questions about how to type one’s children. In addition, I receive questions about whether there is an Enneagram Test just for children. Since the answer to those questions is a little bit complicated, I thought it was time to do a blog post about it.
1. What is the Enneagram Test
The Enneagram can be a transformative tool in relationships. Once we understand what motivates others and what is important to them, we can understand their behaviors, especially if they don’t make sense to us. This understanding can however needs to be a little different with your children, though.
2. Finding Your Child’s Type
Before we dive into this, I want to first caution you on this topic. Labeling kids is never a great idea. Kids are ever evolving and need space and freedom to explore their personality. Our brains aren’t even fully formed until we are 25, so labeling your kids at a young age can have lasting and somewhat traumatic effects.
With this said, I do believe there is some value in using the Enneagram for parenting. First, and most importantly, find your own Enneagram Type first so you can learn about your parenting style. Second, then consider looking at possible Enneagram types for your kids.
Here’s what I recommend:
- If you have an older teen and they are interested in determining their type, have them take our test. If it’s not something they want to do, don’t push it. It needs to be something they want to do.
- If they are younger and you are curious, download our Free Parenting Checklist Guide. The Guide includes the information in this post plus a free Checklist for each Type so you can see if your child fits that Type. Get the Guide, here:
Whichever method you decide, remember to be open minded and narrow it down to a couple types instead of definitively deciding on one Type.
3. When is the Best Time to Find Their Type
So many parents ask me the best time to determine their child’s type. Each child matures at a different rate, so what might be the right age for one child might not be right for another. The longer you wait, the more accurate it will be, especially since they will be able to more accurately answer questions about themselves.
4. How to Use this Information
Read these below guidelines for how to use any information you may learn about your child and the Enneagram. The biggest goal is not label your kids based on what you learn but to use that information to more compassionately parent them.